


Admiration

by Nevermore_red



Category: Rogue One: A Star Wars Story (2016)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Everyone Lives/Nobody Dies, F/M, Girl Crush, Jyn's Jealous, Makeup, Misunderstandings, More Like Envious, Post-Battle of Scarif, Sort Of
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-08-13
Updated: 2018-08-13
Packaged: 2019-06-27 00:35:40
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,892
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15674466
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Nevermore_red/pseuds/Nevermore_red
Summary: Lieutenant Talia Niro shows up on base. She's smart, strong, amazing at her job, and also gorgeous. Jyn hears some of the guys say she's every rebel mans fantasy. Not that she cares about most of their fantasies, but she would like to be Cassian's.Maybe if she were just a bit more put together, like Lt. Niro, then Cassian would see her as more than just his friend.





	Admiration

**Author's Note:**

> This is my first time writing Rebelcaptain. This little story just wouldn't leave my head, so here it is. Hope you enjoy!

 

It wasn’t that Jyn was eavesdropping on purpose, because she wasn’t. Sort of. It was just that Cassian had been cleared for more than just base related duty, which meant he was probably going to be sent out on a mission soon. She was happy for him, truly, but also worried. And, well, she wanted to know and sometimes the missions Cassian went on were ‘top secret’ and she might not know he was leaving until he was already gone.

 

That wouldn’t do for her at all.

 

So, when she saw Mon Mothma and Draven meeting together, she decided that standing close by the room wasn’t anything bad. Not even pressing her ear up against the cold metal. No big deal

 

“When will the lieutenant be arriving?” Mothma asked softly, so softly Jyn had to really strain to hear her.

 

“Later today.”

 

“You think she will be useful to us?”

 

Jyn almost pulled away, realizing they weren’t talking about Cassian or any upcoming missions, but she wanted to hear what Draven thought of this coming lieutenant.

 

“Captain Andor admires her more so than anyone else in the rebellion.” Draven said, and Jyn’s belly dropped just as her blood ran cold. “That’s enough for me.”

 

It was enough for Jyn also.

 

It wasn’t that she and Cassian were…anything. Sure, they were friends. Close friends. Surviving Scarif together had forged a bond between them that was incredibly deep, but that was how it was with all the surviving members of Rogue One. He could admire other women. She had no claim over him in that fashion.

 

But, oh, how she wished to.

 

When the transport arrived to bring in this lieutenant, Jyn hung back in the hanger, wrapped up in every bit of her outer gear to ward off the freezing temperatures. Cassian wasn’t there, which made her feel a little better, but she also knew he was in the middle of helping to thoroughly read through a few imperial transmissions they were able to intercept.

 

A few people got off the ship, but it was easy enough to pick out who the lieutenant was. She was the only woman that came off. She was tall, at least a head taller than Jyn. Even with her heavy coats, it was clear that she was well built. From the distance, Jyn couldn’t really make out her face, not with the scarves and hat she wore, but she could see her smile kindly at the person meeting her to show her where she was to go. Jyn hung back, watching them as she walked and talked with the other person before slipping in behind them.

 

Once they got into the deeper part of the base, where it was warmer, the other woman started stripping off her gear. Her light blonde hair was long and shiny, and it bounced and swayed as she walked and even though she’d been wearing a hat, it fell perfectly. She was laughing and joking easily with her escort as they made their way into the mess. Probably for some caff and a snack after her journey. Jyn took a seat a little ways away, discreetly watching her. Now that she could properly see her face, Jyn frowned. The other woman was gorgeous. High cheek bones, lightly tanned skin, full lips that were stained with some reddish color. Her eyes were large and blue and lined perfectly with kohl with her lashes were flared and darkened with liquid kohl. Once her outerwear was off, Jyn took in her perfectly pressed and fitted uniform.

 

That was enough. Jyn didn’t want to look at just how pretty she was any longer.

 

The next few days Jyn tried to console herself with the idea that beauty didn’t mean much to someone like Cassian. She could be vapid and air headed and silly. She could have gotten to where she was in her rank because she batted those long lashes and smiled at all the correct people.

 

But, Jyn was wrong.

 

Her name was Talia Niro and after watching her in sparring sessions a few times, it was clear she was strong. After hearing her talk, she was smart and quick witted and kind. After sneaking looks at her files, it became evident that she had worked her ass off to get where she was. Talia was a damned good fighter and soldier, and an even better intelligence worker. She was always so perfectly put together; uniform always pressed and boots always clean. Her hair was always immaculately done, enough to rival that of Princess Organa’s. She always had on just enough makeup to look professional and stunning without it being too much.

 

Jyn had no idea how the woman did it.

 

Talia was also poised and professional, listening intently when others spoke and giving well thought out and perfectly worded opinions or responses.

 

In short, Talia was perfect. And as much as Jyn wanted to hate her, she didn’t. Talia was always nice to her, always respectful. She was everything that Jyn imagined a woman should be. That was a thought that was supported by all the talk she’d heard about the lieutenant. She’d heard at a training session just the day before a group of some of the men talking about her.

 

“She’s every straight rebel mans fantasy come to life.”

 

Cassian spent time with her. They both worked in the same department, so it was inevitable. But he still spent time with Jyn also, along with the other Rogue One members. He still met up with them for morning and evening meals, he still found Jyn in the hanger to help her tinker with whatever on Bodhi’s ship.

 

It was confusing. Jyn wanted to ask him about it, but that seemed too awkward so she didn’t. She was certain of one thing, Cassian wasn’t in any sort of relationship with Talia, and never had been. That didn’t mean he didn’t want to be, though. Almost everyone on base had a crush on Talia, and Cassian admired her.

 

Jyn hated that stupid word.

 

If Talia’s traits were something Cassian admired in women, maybe…maybe Jyn could try her hand at them. She could spend more time on her appearance. She could wear makeup and press her clothes and do more than just a half-assed bun with her hair. She could work on her social skills and smile more.

 

That’s how her plan started. She watched Talia closely, tried to mimic the way she walked and stood and sat. She started wearing her hair down, putting conditioning oils in it instead of just washing with the standard issue soap. She spent way too many credits on acquiring makeup and she decided it was best to learn how to properly press her clothes.

 

Learning how to put makeup on was…well, not easy. After several failed attempts to do so in the communal ‘fresher mirrors, Jyn almost gave up. Until Talia came in.

 

She was sweet and understanding and after Jyn explained that she’d never had a female influence in her life to teach her these things, Talia did. She took her step by step through how to apply the powders and the pastes and the stains. She even was kind enough to write out a step by step guide for the next time Jyn would try it on her own.

 

How hard could it actually be? And if Cassian’s admiration were the result, it’d probably be worth it.

 

 

~

 

Cassian had already been briefed on this meeting, so it felt pointless for him to be there now. But, he was nothing if not good at doing what he was told.

 

Usually.

 

It was nice, however, that he could actually let his mind settle and not focus so hard on paying attention for a while. He could also sit and relax, resting his back that still gave him problems at times. Leaning back into the chair, he stretched his legs out and folded his arms across his stomach. Beside him, Jyn was sitting much the same way. Slouched down in her chair, one ankle crossed over the opposite knee. She’d been wearing her hair different lately, down instead of up. Probably because it was so damn cold on this forsaken ice planet. Sitting this close to her in the packed meeting room, he could smell her, and it wasn’t her normal scent. She smelled like, Cassian inhaled slowly, flowers? Something sweet. Out of the corner of his eye he watched as she suddenly went stiff. Then she slowly let her foot fall back to the floor and pushed herself to sitting up properly in the chair.

 

Cassian went on alert immediately, although he didn’t change position. He scanned the room quickly, but nothing was out of place. He glanced back at her to see her eyes fixed somewhere other than the current speakers, and she scooted forward so her back was straight and her shoulders pulled back. He followed her eyes to see her looking across the room at Lieutenant Niro. Looking back at Jyn he noticed that she was carefully trying to mimic the other woman’s pose. Straight posture, shoulders back, chin held high, one ankle crossed over the other and feet tucked back to the side, hands resting folded in her lap.

 

For some reason it struck him as funny. He had no idea why Jyn was doing it, but it was funny to watch her so carefully pose herself. He tried to bite it back, but a small snort of amusement came out his nose and Jyn’s head whipped around to glare at him.

 

“What?” she whispered.

 

“What are you doing?” he asked just as quietly, eyes flicking from her to Lt. Niro and back.

 

“I…” she flushed and lifted her chin and Cassian grinned at her, making her glare even harder. “Nothing.”

 

She looked away from him, eyes focusing back on the meeting. Jyn never paid much attention in the meetings, so Cassian took it as her ignoring him. He also got the feeling he’d hurt her feelings with his amusement. He glanced back over at Lt. Niro and wondered what in the Force was going on.

 

~

 

“Stupid kriffing piece of useless metal!” she grumbled to herself, shaking her hand to relieve the burn to the tips of her fingers.

 

“It is actually not useless at all, Jyn Erso.” K2’s voice came from the open door and Jyn glanced back to find the tall droid just outside. “It produces high levels of heat and steam so as to release the wrinkles in clothing.”

 

“I know.” She snapped, picking up her pants and frowning at the burn marks.

 

“You have done it wrong.”

 

“Obviously, Kay.” She glared. “Thanks for pointing that out.”

 

“You are welcome, Jyn Erso. I would also like to point out that I know what you are trying to accomplish.”

 

“Wrinkle free pants?” she smirked at the droid.

 

“You have been making changes in your physical appearance in hopes of changing the feelings of Captain Andor towards you.”

 

Jyn went pale. “Who…who told you that?”

 

“No one. I simply have noticed the behavior and made an observation.”

 

“That’s…” she scoffed, rolling the pants up in her hands. “That’s…”

 

“Would you care to know the probability of this working?” before she could answer, the droid went on. “There is a less than 10% chance that Cassian will care about the changes in your appearance. There is a less than 3% chance that Cassian’s feelings towards you will ever change.”

 

A rush of shame and hurt washed over Jyn and she blinked several times. “Thanks for that, Kay.” She tossed her ruined pants towards the trash bin and pushed past the droid before he could notice the tears in her eyes.

 

As she trudged through the halls, her hurt was morphing into anger. Not at Kay or Cassian or even Talia. She was angry at herself. Angry that she’d tried to change herself, angry that she thought it would work, angry that it obviously didn’t.

 

Storming through the corridor, she ignored everyone she passed, half aware that she kept knocking into people, at times violently. She didn’t stop until she reached the communal ‘freshers and jerked her assigned locker open. Grabbing out the small duraplast box that contained all the makeup she now owned, she threw it as hard as she could against the wall. The duraplast shattered, powder and pastes and brushes went flying.

 

~

 

Cassian had stepped out of the comms room just in time to see Jyn storming down the hall. He lifted a brow and watched as she shouldered and shoved her way past people, almost knocking one poor man to the ground.

 

Worried, Cassian took off after her. He didn’t call out her name, or let her know he was there, he just followed behind to see where she was going. When they got somewhere less populated, he could stop her and ask what was up.

 

She nearly broke the keypad to the communal freshers as she punched the buttons too hard. He paused for a second outside the door, debating on letting her cool off on her own. She was obviously going to shower, and as much as that idea was appealing to him, he didn’t want to interrupt her.

 

When there was a loud crash and the sound of something breaking, Cassian made his decision. He quickly punched in the code and stepped inside, turning right towards the female side of the ‘freshers. When he rounded the corner, it was to find shattered duraplast all over the floors and Jyn standing there with her face in her hands.

 

“It didn’t change anything.” She groaned into her hands and her shoulders shook, her voice catching.

 

“Jyn?” he said her name carefully, taking a hesitant step towards her. Her body froze for a moment, and then she slowly turned to look at him. Her eyes were red and watery, the kohl around them smudged. She sniffed and tried to discreetly wipe her hand under her eye.

 

“Sorry, sir.” She cleared her throat. “I’ll pick it up.”

 

“That’s…” he sighed, not liking how she called him sir. He wasnt reprimanding her. He didn’t care about the broken…whatever it was. He cared about her and whatever it was that had her so upset. But she was already dropping to her knees and gathering up the broken pieces. Cassian joined her, picking up a small container of powder and looking at the rest of the stuff. It took him a minute to realize it was makeup. He picked up a small glass bottle and after a quick sniff, realized it was the scented oil that Jyn had been wearing lately. After picking up several more things, he noticed a yellow piece of paper. He picked it up and read through a step by step guide of how to put all this stuff on. It was familiar handwriting, and it took him a moment to realize it was Lt. Niro’s.

 

“Jyn…” he said her name, but she didn’t stop picking up all the tiny shatters. “Jyn.” He reached over and grabbed her wrist to stop her, sitting all the makeup pieces down next to his leg.

 

“What?” she whispered, holding still but not looking at him.

 

“What is all this?” he motioned towards everything.

 

“It’s makeup.” She scoffed, like it was obvious. Which it was.

 

“No, I mean…you didn’t use to wear makeup. And you’re upset. Can you…” he glanced down at the paper in his hand and something ugly welled up in his chest as he recalled all the times he’d caught Jyn trying to do things that the other woman was doing. “Did Lt. Niro say something to you?” he ground out. “Did she insult you?”

 

“What?” Jyn snapped her head up to look at him. “No. I…no. Talia is…she’s lovely.”

 

Cassian frowned, highly confused.

 

“I asked her to help me with all this.” She waved at the scattered products.

 

“Why?”

 

Jyn snorted. “Because she’s amazing. She’s strong and smart and kind and not socially awkward or sloppy. She’s always so perfectly put together and professional and…and stunning.” She sniffed, rubbing at her eye. “All the guys talk about how she’s a rebel’s fantasy.”

 

Cassian tried to keep up, tried to understand what she was saying. Hearing that and seeing how Jyn had been watching the other woman so closely and…oh.

 

Oh.

 

“Do you, uh…” he rubbed the back of his neck. “Do you have a…a crush on Lt. Niro?”

 

He hadn’t thought about Jyn’s sexual orientation before. He’d never considered that she might not like men. He’d considered her not liking him in any sort of sexual way, but not men in general. Not that…there was nothing wrong with that of course. It just meant he had even less of a chance with her than he thought. Which was basically zilch to begin with.

 

“What?” she nearly snapped, then shook her head with a confused look. “No, I…no. I mean, there’s been a few women, in the past, but I prefer men. In general.” She cleared her throat awkwardly. “I, uh, thought you did.”

 

Cassian’s eyes widened. “You thought I like men?” he coughed. “No, no. It’s women. I…I like women.”

 

“No.” she laughed for real this time, ending with a small smile, though her eyes looked sad. “I thought you were the one with the crush.”

 

“On Lt. Niro?” he questioned, brow raised. When Jyn nodded, he shook his head. “No, Jyn. I don’t have a crush on Lt. Niro.”

 

“Draven said…I heard him say that you admired her more than anyone in the rebellion.”

 

Cassian jerked his head back, wondering in what situation Draven had said any such thing to Jyn. “Admire is…I wouldn’t use that word. I respect Talia. I suppose I admire her work, but that’s nothing more than a professional admiration.”

 

“Oh.” Jyn swallowed looking back at the ground and picking up a makeup brush, toying with the bristles.

 

“Is that why you’ve started wearing this stuff? And changed your hair?”

 

Jyn lifted a shoulder. “She’s just…perfect.”

 

Cassian sighed, then pushed himself to standing. Reaching down a hand, he helped haul her to her feet.

 

“Look at me, Jyn.” He caught her chin and tilted her face up so she was looking at him. “I like…I like your face. I like how pale your skin is, and the dusting of freckles across your cheeks and nose.” He ran a finger across the bridge of her nose, watching how her lashes fluttered. His heart followed suit.

 

“They’re like tiny constellations.” He grinned when Jyn smiled. “I like how you used to wear just kohl around your eyes. It brought out how green they are without being too much. And your lips…” he touched the tip of his middle finger to her bottom lip. “I like how full they are, how they part just a tiny bit when your face is relaxed.” He pulled his trembling finger away from her lip, and embolden with the fact she hadn’t pushed him away, lifted both hands into her hair.

 

“I like when your hair is up. How some of it falls around your face because it’s as unruly as you are. And it shows off your neck.” He trailed his fingers down the sides of her neck, swallowing hard when she sucked in a breath.

 

“I like how your clothes fit your body. They show how strong you are, how hard you work. They leave you so enticingly covered up.” He rested his hands on her shoulders and took a deep breath.

 

“I like that you don’t wear artificial scents. You work, Jyn. You contribute and you fight and you…you smell like it. In the best way. There’s nothing flowery about you, and I always liked that your scent reflected that.”

 

“Cassian.” She half choked his name out. “You…” she shook her head. “I don’t understand. K2 said…when he realized what I was doing he told me there was a less than 3% chance of you ever changing how you felt about me.”

 

Cassian smiled softly, cupping her cheek to tilt her face back up to his. “He’s not wrong, Jyn. I wouldn’t put it at 3%. More like zero, but I don’t think he works with zero percentages.”

 

“So, I don’t understand.”

 

“I thought I made it obvious just now.” He smiled. “I like you. Other guys might look at Lt. Niro and see their fantasy, but not me. You, Jyn Erso, are my every fantasy. No amount of makeup or pressed clothing or scented oils will change that.”

 

“Oh.” She whispered, and then smiled. Then she started laughing, reaching up to hold onto the wrist of the hand still on her cheek. “I’m a nerfherder, aren’t I?” she chuckled.

 

“Can be, yeah.” He smiled.

 

She sniffed back her laughter. “Force, I spent so many credits on all this shit.”

 

“I’m sure some of the other women would be willing to buy it from you.”

 

“No.” she shook her head. “They can just have it. I think I might have gotten what I want.”

 

Cassian slid his hand up her cheek and into her hair, tugging her just a bit closer. “And what is that?”

 

“You.” She said simply. “Now, do you think you can kiss me?”

 

Deciding not to answer verbally, Cassian lifted his other hand to her cheek and lowered his head until his lips were pressed against hers. They were soft and giving, but he could feel the stickiness of whatever lip stain she had on. It would be on him when they were done, but he found he really didn’t care at the moment. Not when Jyn was pressing closer to him, wrapping her arms around his neck and opening her mouth to kiss him deeper. He wanted more. He wanted to strip these starch stiff clothes off her and then shove her into the wall of the ‘fresher in his private quarters. He wanted to wash away all the makeup and flowery oil until nothing was left but Jyn. Jyn and him and nothing else.

 

“We’re in the public ‘freshers.” Jyn pulled back enough to whisper against his lips. “You’re on the female side of those pubic ‘freshers.”

 

“True.” He kissed her lips softly one last time. “I also have a briefing in less than an hour for my next mission.”

 

“Off world?” she asked with a frown and Cassian nodded. She forced a smile. “That’s great. I know you’ve been wanting to get back out there.”

 

“I have been, yeah.” He agreed, stroking her cheek with his thumb. “I won’t be leaving for another four days, though.”

 

“Oh.” She smiled truly. “That’s good.”

 

“It is.” He agreed. “Also, I was sent to come find you anyway. You’re wanted in the briefing also.”

 

She frowned at that, her brows bunched endearingly. “Why?”

 

“The mission requires a partner.” He touched his forehead against hers. “I requested you.”

 

“Oh.” She nearly squeaked in her happiness. “Not Lt. Niro?”

 

“No.” he chuckled. “Because Draven was wrong. There’s no one in this rebellion, in this whole kriffing galaxy, that I admire more than you.”

 

Jyn tilted her chin up to catch his lips again. “Right back at you, Captain.” 


End file.
